


Strawberry cakes and stars

by Oceanewave



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Mention of blood, Not Related, One Shot, Panic Attack, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21041975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceanewave/pseuds/Oceanewave
Summary: And after everything is quiet again she makes her way to Lucy, unable to stop herself and put her arms around the body against hers.“You owe me a kiss” she murmurs.Lucy laughs sliding her own arms around Erza’s waist.“And a strawberry cake!”





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on Erza ! Please! Only once and I swear I won’t ask it ever again!” Lucy begs.

“That’s exactly what you said the five last time. And my answer is still the same. No.”

“But darling! Just imagine for a moment, us two fighting together and..”

“We already fight together.” Erza responds.

“But this is different! I’ll be using your swords, we would be totally badass and the enemies will be defeated in a matter of seconds.”

“Why on earth do you want to use my swords so much? You have your spirits already!”

“Because I’ve been trying to rely on something other than my magic, it’s training!” Lucy argues.

“No”

Erza watches with amusement, Lucy fuming and pacing nervously in their apartment. To be honest Erza would have agreed to loan her one of swords, but Lucy’s body wasn’t built for it, plus they contain too much power and Erza, herself, has to always take a moment to adjust to each weapon.

“I’ll owe you a kiss if you let me at least try it!”

“I already have these on daily basis, why would that help convince me to let you borrow one of my weapon?”

“Then I’ll stop kissing you!” the blond threatens.

“I’d like to see you try” Erza smirks.

They’ve had this conversation for a few times now, and every time it’s the same arguments and Lucy doesn’t even last an hour before giving in.

“Fine! I won’t make any strawberry cake for you any more!”

At this, Erza must admit that she takes a moment to think about it. Her love for this cake would certainly do nothing but harm one day. But when she saw the victorious grin on her lover’s face, she builds up some courage and sacrifice the cake. She could still find it elsewhere if Lucy was seriously going to take it this far.

“I won’t change my mind Lucy. I’ve already explained why, now drop it. Please.”

And that’s how their sixth argument about it, ended.

*

Erza is out of breath, her heart hurts and she can feel blood running down her right arm. She is pretty sure she’s bleeding on other parts of her body but she doesn’t have time to think about it to much, because her opponent is lurching forward, ready to continue their fight. She can hear the rest of the team struggling against their enemies. It’s by far one of the hardest missions they had ever gotten. But there’s only ten mages left and she has faith that they will win this battle once again.

That is until her eyes catch a blonde haired woman pinned on the grown with one of the culprit above her. She can see how scared Lucy is, as she tries to reach her keys which are a little too far from her fingers.

Erza tries to calculate if she could make it on time to get rid off the mage, but her opponent is still standing and she can see one more making his way toward her. And a knife is brought to Lucy’s throat. She definitely have no time so she does the thing she swore she was never going to do, taking the risk to put Lucy in more danger, and she summons a weapon into her girlfriend’s hands. She see how the fingers close around the handle carefully before she rises it without any struggle and the second later the mage on top of her is down next to her. This brings a smile to Erza’s lips and gives a her a little courage to take her own enemies down.

And after everything is quiet again she makes her way to Lucy, unable to stop herself and put her arms around the body against hers.

“You owe me a kiss” she murmurs.

Lucy laughs sliding her own arms around Erza’s waist.

“And a strawberry cake!”


	2. Memory

Lucy sits quietly on the couch as the man who let her in the office settles in a chair across from her. Like every time they see each other, he has a notebook and a pen in his hands, prepared to write everything down the minute Lucy starts talking. She isn’t sure he’s really taking notes of what she tells him, but he listens, and honestly, this is all she needs.  
She strains her eyes a little bit to read the name on the badge on the man’s suit, Dr.Patel. No matter how many times she comes here, her brain can’t seem to register the man’s name.

“Tell me, Lucy, how are you since the last time we saw each other?”

His voice is gentle. Which is not something you’d expect to hear when you first lay eyes on the man. He is tall and broad. He looks severe, and he is never dressed in anything other than a suit. His hair is perfectly brushed , and he never seems to move from the position he’s in until the end of each session.

“I don’t know.” Is what she says as she lets her eyes drift toward the window. There’s a beautiful view of the park, and she can see children running, probably laughing and yelling at whatever games they’re playing.

“It’s okay not to know how you feel. Did you have another flash of memories, like the ones you were describing the last few times you were here ?” Dr.Patel asks.

And Lucy freezes at this. She knew the question would come at some point, but she didn’t expect it to be now.

“Yes.” Is all she answers.

She just had one this morning. She wasn’t even properly awake before she started crying as images invaded her head. Always the same one, there is blood on her hands and she’s trying to put pressure on a wound on the belly of a body lying in front of her. It’s pointless, and somehow she knows it, but she’s doing it anyway. Because the person she is trying to save is important to her.

But all she can remember from this person is that it’s a woman, with bright red hair and soft brown eyes. Nothing more.

“And how did you feel when it happened?”

Always the same question. But she can understand why, because every time she gives a different answer even though it all amounts to the same thing.

“It’s like trying to breathe underwater: painful and suffocating. You gasp, like it would help you breathe again, like it would help you gather this precious air inside your lungs, but all you can feel is the viscous liquid flowing in your airways. You know you’re not going to make it, but you can’t help it. It’s your instincts talking. So you try. Again and again hoping that at some point, the water will disappear all by itself, and finally…just finally let you breathe. But this can’t happen just like that. And the moment this realization strikes you, it’s too late. There’s no hope left. Nothing. It’s like you’re dead.”

“And how many times does this happen to you? I mean, every few days? Does something trigger it?”

There’s a moment of silence, where Lucy looks at the man, contemplating him as if the answer is on his face.

Maybe it is because when she finally answers, there’s not a hint of surprise through his eyes.

“Every day” Is all she manages to answer before a single name fills up her mind and slips out of her lips in a soft whisper “Erza”.


	3. The heart wants what it wants

“The heart wants what it wants.  
There’s no logic to these things,  
You meet someone and you fall in love.  
And that’s that.”  
Woody Allen.

Erza sighs as she opens her eyes, her gaze focused on the ceiling. She is tired and her body aches from the mission she took earlier but she’s been laying on the bed for what feels like hundreds of hours and somehow she is still not able to fall asleep.

The bed shifts a little and her attention settles on the body that lays next to her. Lucy is fast asleep, breathing softly, her features completely calm and at peace. Her long hair is falling gently on her face. She is perfectly tucked under the blanket, her face and shoulders the only visible parts of her body. And yet she looks ethereal as the moonlight falls upon her skin, coming from the window that they once again forgot to close.

Maybe that’s why Erza can’t sleep. Because she is sharing a bed with a woman who looks to be a part of another world, a woman she feels has no reason to be laying next to her.  
Lucy has always been so pure, almost like an angel, to Erza’s eyes. No matter how many years passed, and how much danger she faced, Lucy still had this vibrant light in her eyes.  
And Erza doesn’t understand why such a person chose her to spend her life with.

Because Erza is tainted with darkness, has been since she was born. She is broken in so many ways, at so many places and she has so much scars, physical and mental. She is far from perfect and still has to fight with her demons.

Erza brings one of her hand up, and gently remove the strands that are on Lucy’s face.

She feels selfish, because even if she knows Lucy should definitely not be with her, Erza can’t help but still want to be with her, to feel her presence always.  
“You deserve so much better than me…” She whispers.

Erza can feel her eyes fill up with tears and her throat is suddenly too tight. She knows if she stays here any longer she will not be able to hold her emotions in.

She’s about to get off the bed when a hand wraps around hers. Erza stills and lifts her gaze towards those brown eyes which she loves so much, and is surprised to see that they are now looking directly at her.

“Stay.” Lucy says, her voice soft, tender.

Erza can’t find the strength to say no, just settles back next to Lucy. Neither of them says anything, but Lucy brings her body closer to Erza’s one. She feels the way Lucy gently lets go of her hand and it’s not long before there’s an arm around her waist, while the blonde tucks her head under Erza’s chin.

The red-head doesn’t dare to move an inch, while the tears she tried to fight are running down her cheeks.

“You’ve been off for this past few days..I was worried about you and now I finally know what got you so worked up..”

Erza closes her eyes. This is it, this is where Lucy tells her that she is too fucked up to be with; that she doesn’t want someone this broken by her side.

“Erza… I don’t care if you think you don’t deserve me, or whatever else goes through your mind. I don’t want anybody else but you. I love you and I wouldn’t have it another way.”

This…is definitely not what Erza had expected but somehow it eases this weight she has on heart. So she built up some courage and wraps an arm around Lucy’s frame, keeping her close.

She doesn’t say anything, not sure of her voice or if she’ll say the right thing, but she hopes Lucy understands. Understands that Erza loves her too, and that she is thankful for having her by her side, always.


	4. Are we girlfriends?

Lucy wakes up to soft fingers slipping through her hair in gentle manners. She hums as she presses her head a little more in the hand. No matter how many times these gestures were made, she could never get used to the warmth it provides her and she can’t help but hum. This brings out a small chuckle from the person next to her and Lucy smiles as she finally opens her eyes.

Erza is looking at her tenderly, a soft smile on her lips and her features perfectly calm. Lucy is not sure whether she has ever seen Erza in this state apart from their moment together, and she feels a small sense of pride at the thought.

“Hey sleepy head,” the scarlet girl says, voice barely above a whisper, making Lucy shiver.

“Hi,” she answers, moving close enough to give a chaste kiss on the girl’s lips.

“How did you sleep? You were muttering things before you woke up.” Amusement could be heard in Erza’s voice.

“Slept well… What did I say?”

“That I should give you more kisses since you brought me some cake.”

Lucy snorts as she buries her face in the crook of Erza’s neck.

“You should definitely give me more kisses, but I didn’t buy any cake, sorry,” comes the muffled voice of the blonde.

“Mmh…it’s quite difficult to give you more kisses when your face is hidden like this.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything as her lips meet the tender skin of Erza, travelling down her neck while giving some butterfly kisses.

“Well, I didn’t say where those kisses should be,” she eventually murmurs.

This only brings out another chuckle from Erza before arms are wrapped around her and all she can feel is the heat of Erza’s body everywhere.

***

Erza departed about an hour later for a mission that she took with Wendy, leaving Lucy with a sentiment of emptiness like it always does when she has to spend a day without the mage.

The worst part is probably that she shouldn’t feel that way since they were together for barely a month, and now that she thinks about it, Lucy isn’t even sure that they have made anything official between them yet. There never was a discussion about anything involving feelings, they just kissed one night after a few drinks and kept things going like this. 

They didn’t tell anything to anyone around them, and they always acted like nothing happened between them when they were out.

Lucy knows that, at some point, they should make things clear between them, but for now things seem a little more complicated and she’s not sure if that would be her best move.

Sighing, Lucy decides to go to the Guild, hoping that the people there would be enough distraction for her to forget the ache in her chest. And as she opens the door of Fairy Tail, she is not disappointed when she hears screams and yells aimed at whoever it is in the Guild.

This brings a little smile on her face and she fondly shake her head as she goes searching for the rest of her teammates.

Natsu and Gray are sitting next to each other, sharing a meal when she finally spots them. Their faces are close to the other, seeming to talk about something pretty serious if Natsu’s face is any indication. And as she gets closer, the words become clearer.

“…Dude, I am serious. I saw her there last week too,” Natsu says.

“Maybe not being with Jellal had hit her hard. A woman… Has… Needs, after all….” Gray replies, his face turning shades of crimson and blue from both embarrassment and horror.  
“But… It’s Erza. She is like a sister. Are older sisters allowed to do such things?”

“I wonder why I date you. Of course, moron. They are allowed. Even… Even Erza.” Gray gulps.

And for a moment Lucy stops, not knowing what to make of these, before a laugh comes out of her lips. In all the things that could have come out of the boys’ mouth, this wasn’t a conversation she expected to witness.

This brings the two males’ attention on her, and she can’t stop laughing at their sudden red faces.

“Oh lord… you weren’t supposed to hear that! You have to keep it to yourself Lucy, whatever part you heard! Erza is going to kill us!”

She wipes out the tears of her cheeks as she tries to take control of her breathing again. She really couldn’t ask for a better distraction.

***

When she comes home that night, she finds Erza sitting by the window, a glass of water in one of her hand while her head is lifted towards the sky. It’s a beautiful sight since the lights of the city behind her only compliment her frame.

Lucy takes off her shoes and makes her way towards the girl but before she can say anything, Erza opens her mouth, turning her head towards her.

“I think we need to talk.”

Lucy halts, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest, for some inexplicable reason.

“You know…usually when people say things like this, it means trouble.” She tries to laugh about it.

She refuses to listen to that little voice in her head saying that this is the moment where Erza is going to say that whatever was going on between them, has to end.

“I know things are a little complicated between us. But I needed some guidance on some things and… I talked to Mira yesterday. I should have asked you first, I know, but I told her about our ‘meeting’…and I don’t think I can keep things like this.”

Lucy moves toward Erza before she knows it, gripping suddenly at the girl’s hand. She already has words on the tip of her tongue when Erza talks again.

“Mira told me that I should wait for you to say something first but… Why is this so difficult?” Erza slips out the window and brings a hand to Lucy’s cheek, giving a soft caress. “I don’t want to pretend that we’re not together when we are out…if we’re together that’s it, I don’t really know what we are but… I want us to be something. Definitely something. You’re always on my mind, and I always crave your touches and gosh, I hate when I can’t hold your hand or kiss you whenever I want. I want you… I want to be with you. Officially. I’m—”

Lucy doesn’t let her finish this time, deciding that what Erza just told her, was enough. Enough for her to press firmly their mouths together, and by the desperate way Erza responds to the touch, she knows she did just the right thing.

She feels many things: relief, love, joy and lucky, but most of all, she suddenly feels complete, the emptiness she felt the morning, completely gone.

***

At night, when they are cuddling warmly in her bed with Erza planting soft kisses on her lips once in a while, Lucy’s eyes spark with mischief and delight as she pulls the mage closer to her and says, “You know, I heard this conversation between Gray and Natsu today…”

Needless to say, both the boys were beaten badly in the Guild Hall the next day.


	5. Rumors

“Hey, I heard Lucy and Natsu went on a date last night.”

“I wonder when Lucy will finally tell us that she’s with Natsu…I mean have you seen how close they are? They’re basically a married couple.”

“Did you see how happy Erza is this morning? Jellal is in town, this has probably something to do with it.”

“They’d make such a cute couple if only Jellal weren’t this stubborn..as for Natsu and Lucy, you couldn’t find someone more blind than them. It’s ridiculous.”

Lucy jolts as a hand gently slides into hers and pulls her away from all the voices around her. She hadn’t realized she was standing in the middle of the guild until she finds herself sitting at a table in the corner, away from the eyes of everyone.

When the hand finally lets go, she lets her gaze fall on Natsu, who is making himself comfortable on the seat in front of her. He has a serious look on his face for once.

“This has to stop.” He says, his voice deep and low.

Lucy can feel her heart skip a beat at the words, afraid to understand what Natsu is really talking about. She doesn’t have to try and play dumb with him.

Even though she hasn’t said anything to anyone, Natsu is her best friend and probably the only person on this Earth who knows her by heart.

“This has to stop Luce. I know what’s going on, and I have to say I’m a little hurt you didn’t come to me for this.”

“Natsu…”

“I don’t know why you and Erza are keeping it a secret. And I’m not judging or anything, but you need to do something about it. Because it’s driving Gray and me crazy. All these rumors…like I literally told Mira I was going on a date with Gray yesterday and this morning she came to me asking me when I was going to ask you out. Like what the fuck?”

On any another day, Lucy would have laughed at this because Natsu and Gray were far from subtle. They were always holding hands, and when they weren’t yelling at each other, it wasn’t unusual to find them in a corner of the guild, whispering to each other with soft smiles on their lips. In conclusion, Lucy was as confused as them about the fact the guild still hadn’t understood that they were together.

“I’m sorry…” She says softly, dropping her gaze to her joined hands on her lap.

“There’s no need to be sorry Luce, I know it’s not easy but… aren’t you tired? Both of you? I mean, I know it’s hurting you to hear all of those things since you were standing like a statue in the middle of the guildhall not a minute ago, but what is stopping you from telling everyone that you and Erza are together?”

Lucy bites her lips, and she can feel her eyes sting from the sudden tears she’s trying to hold back. She doesn’t know where to start actually. There is so much to say, so many reasons she could tell him, but somehow Lucy can’t help but think that these are just excuses. She hears Natsu sighing before a hand rests on the top of her head.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s get out of here.”

Lucy is up on her feet not long after the statement. She can feel Natsu’s fingers on the small of her back, and as they make their way out of the guild she swears she heard Levy said: “Maybe they finally got together and they’re going on a date! I hope Lucy will tell me about it.”

*

They’re sitting by the river. Natsu is oddly quiet, but she guesses he’s doing her a favour by letting her collect her thoughts. It’s nice, and the fact that there’s only the sound of the running water around them helps to calm the storm that is brewing inside her mind right now.

She doesn’t know how long they stay quiet like this, but when she finally lets the words out, it’s like she can’t stop any more.

“I wanted to come clean with everyone in the first place, but Erza wasn’t ready. She wanted us to explore what was between us first. Which is totally understandable, since being with a woman was new to both of us, and we weren’t even sure of what all this was.” She whispers.

She can feel Natsu’s eyes on her, but he remains quiet, waiting for her to continue with what she has in mind.

“So I agreed to keep everything between us for as long as she needed. But… that was months ago, and we never talked about it again. I mean I know she heard about the rumours, I tried to bring them up once, but all she responded was “let them think what they want, as long as we know the truth that’s all that matters” and I mean she’s not wrong but…”  
Lucy takes a shaky breath as she runs a hand through her hair, nervously.

“I don’t like hearing how whipped she is for Jellal. I don’t like seeing Mirajane trying to make you and I go out together. I’m tired of seeing Gray and you hurt because of it, and I’m so so tired of keeping everything inside when all I want is to hold her hand freely and kiss her on the cheek when she says something stupid.”

Tears run down her cheeks, but Lucy couldn’t care less at this moment, because even if everything still hurt, she felt relieved that she could finally let these words out. She had held them in for so long after all.

“I’m not sure I have the right words but…maybe you should confront Erza about it and then do your coming out to the guild. It’s not going to be easier for any of you, for any of us, and I can assure you that Gray is this close to exploding, so I think it’s better if it’s you who do it,” Natsu laughs a little.

She knows that he isn’t entirely serious, they would never do that to her, but she understands what he’s trying to say.

“What if Erza doesn’t want to do it?”

“Then I’ll punch her in the face.”

Lucy can’t help but snort at this, and it’s kind of weird because she’s still crying.

“As if you’ll do something like that. She’ll probably kill you on the spot.”

“But at least I’ll die for my best friend’s honour!” He answers.

And this time Lucy laughs freely, her heart feeling a little better.

“You know, if I wasn’t gay and dating Erza, I think I would have married you,” Lucy says playfully.

“And if I weren’t deeply in love with Gray and well…gay too, I would have…still been your best friend actually. You’re too much of a handful, even for the straight version of me. Sorry, honey.”

Lucy can’t stop laughing at this as she lets herself lean against Natsu.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m an angel.”

“Yeah…yes you are.”

Natsu slides an arm around her waist as he presses a kiss on the top her head, and Lucy closes her eyes, taking in the warmth of Natsu.

“I’m still scared..” she confesses.

“I know. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…since apparently the guild still hasn’t understood about Gray and me, we might as well come out at the same time. If you go down, we all go down together as a team, right?”

“Yeah… you’re right. Thank you, Natsu. For everything.”

“You’re always welcome.” He answers gently.

*

When Lucy closes the door of her house, she knows that Erza is here thanks to the extra pair of shoes at the entry. She doesn’t move for a moment, because even though she knew she’d see her girlfriend at some point, she’d hoped to have more time.

Sighing, she hangs her coat before making her way further in her house. Erza is sitting on the couch, facing the window. She looks like she’s been here for a while already, her red hair is up in a messy bun, and she is wearing a loose shirt that Lucy is positive belongs to her. She stands there for a moment, not knowing what to do.

“I heard you and Natsu went on a date,” Erza says suddenly.

Lucy tenses up immediately because this is the first time Erza has brought the matter up willingly.

“Someone even saw him hug you at the river,” She adds.

And Lucy sighs because all of this is getting out of hand, she realizes that Natsu is right, they need to do something about it before everything get worse.

Lucy decides to sit next to her girlfriend, her attention entirely on her, and when Erza turns her head toward her, she can’t help but feel a weight on her chest. She looks tired, her eyes are red, and her face is puffy. It seems as if she’s cried for hours and has only calmed down a few seconds ago. Lucy doesn’t hesitate as she takes one of Erza’s hand in hers.  
“I hope you know that these aren’t true, I’m..”

“I know,” the scarlet girl interrupts her. “I know you’re not with him, he is with Gray, and you’re with me, but I’m tired of pretending that I don’t care about all these things people say about us being in love with someone else, or being with someone else.”

At this instant, Lucy doesn’t know what to say. She spent all afternoon with Natsu, trying to figure out a way to bring the subject up so Erza would have no other choice but to face and deal with the matter, and here she is, talking about it without Lucy’s help.

“I must admit this is thanks to Gray… who made me realize some things today. I don’t want to hide you or what is between us any longer. It’s hurting me, it’s hurting you, and it’s hurting Natsu and Gray, and I can’t take that. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that, I was so scared you weren’t ready and that you…”

And Erza’s words die on Lucy’s lips, as the blond softly presses her mouth on hers. Lucy is crying for what feels like the hundredth time today, but she finds she doesn’t care because somehow she feels so relieved to not be the only one feeling like this.

The kiss doesn’t last long, and Lucy gently pulls away.

“I’m ready to show our love to the world if you’re ready Erza. I’m tired too, and I would like to live this relationship plainly with you.”

Erza nods as she leans and rests her forehead against Lucy’s, their hands tangled together.

“We should probably thank the boys later,” Erza says.

“Yeah, probably.” Lucy laughs a little.

*

“We are together.”

Was the statement Erza decided to go with when she and Lucy arrived at the guild the following morning. They were met with silence, but at least all heads were turned toward them, confusion all over their faces.

“We can… see that you’re next to each other, yeah.” Mirajane breaks the silence.

“You don’t understand,” Erza tries again. “Lucy and I are together as in together. We are a couple, have been for months now.”

“Wait…but what about Jellal and Natsu? Weren’t you with them?” Levy immediately intervenes.

And this time Lucy is ready to talk, but the warm feeling of Natsu’s shoulder against hers and his voice ringing through the guildhall prevents her from doing so.

“I’m dating Gray. Have been for years now, and we literally don’t try to hide it, so you guys have no excuse. Also, Jellal has a fiancé, so I really doubt he’s in a relationship with Erza right now. Like seriously, you call me dumb, but you’re much dumber.” Natsu states.

They are met with another wave of silence, wide eyes looking at them and for a moment Lucy is afraid that somehow they’re going to be rejected, that somehow Fairy Tail won’t be their home anymore which is crazy because they are not the only one to come out to the guild.

She knows that Freed and Laxus are together and that something is going on between Cana and Mirajane, but she can’t help but feel pressured and unwanted when all of them are looking at them like this.

But then there’s a little laugh from Gajeel, who is sitting at the bar, that seems to give life to the guild again.

“What’s with those stupid faces? Let’s celebrate this!” the Dragon Slayer says.

And suddenly there are cheers, and loud voices and millions of questions going around them and Lucy finds herself releasing a breath she didn’t even remember holding until now.

I don’t remember why I was so afraid to begin with, she thinks as she watches Erza threatening Laxus after a playful comment.

This is my family, after all.


End file.
